


the holy are broken; i fear them

by snakebait



Series: reverse monster au [1]
Category: VIXX
Genre: M/M, Vampires, taek and yeon are priests
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-15 21:44:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18677938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snakebait/pseuds/snakebait
Summary: The ghouls are never quiet. Taekwoon knows them better than anyone in the cathedral, knows them better than anything. Those sounds are the ones that bring horror to others whilst bringing consistency to Taekwoon. Those sounds mean nightfall and they mean a waking lullaby for Taekwoon.





	the holy are broken; i fear them

**Author's Note:**

> if you read my fic, 'creatures we find in the dark', this oneshot is basically a role reversal but different. i made sanghyuk the vampire this time and in the other two oneshots, jaehwan and hongbin will be monsters as well. you don't need to read that fic in order to understand this, though!

The winds aren't enough to shake the columns of the cathedral but it makes the hollows of the roof and pews sing in a different way that the organs do on Sunday mass. 

 

It’s almost like when the sun goes down, the angels go to sleep and the ghouls are the ones that Taekwoon listens to when he can't sleep. It’s fitting, since the creatures of the night haunt the streets when the sky is black, no light from anything besides the moon and the lamps that hang over the cobblestone roads.

 

And Jung Taekwoon cannot sleep when the ghouls are the loudest. No one else faces this issue; he is lonesome in the night but he supposes he likes it. He makes the preparations for the coming events, when Hakyeon is asleep and exhausted from his daily chores. It’s Taekwoon that prepared the wine, the crackers, the candles and the books, making them neat in the back of pews for the coming crowd at nine in the early morning.

 

But for now, at the second hour of the new day, he simply waits. He doesn't know what for and he barely knows why he cannot escape the howling that doesn't seem to trouble anyone else. Even Wonshik, the town’s healer, hears them but he can sleep through anything. He slept through a werewolf attack a few months prior whilst Taekwoon and Hakyeon boarded up their cathedral to protect those inside who sought refuge with them.

 

“Can't you feel these things?” Taekwoon spat at him once Wonshik had finally showed up to treat those injured. “Should I consider this a testament of how poor at your job you are?”

 

“Not in the slightest,” Wonshik answered cooly, dressing wound after wound and handing out potion upon potion to the town’s population. “It hardly means anything aside from I simply slept a little longer than initially planned.”

 

Taekwoon almost laughs when he thinks back on it but laughing to himself in the darkness of his home with only a candle to light his way… He's not sure if he should call it romantic or insane. He should be in bed instead of out here but he's beginning to find comfort in the howling of the wind and the ghouls outside as they argue with each other.

 

The doors are boarded; they have to be. Taekwoon glances at them and for a moment, he wonders if a ghoul would even attempt to come into the cathedral, into such a holy place. Can they sense him, a priest, inside praying to himself in the dark? Can they feel the divine on his skin, in his blood? Maybe that's why they don't come in. He’d been blessed for that very reason, his blood a curse to those who need it to survive. It is only for the angels he worships but he finds that fact equally demeaning. He loves the angels he knows, the ones that sing for him and fill his mind with comfort that is indescribable but to give up his blood for them should they ask? 

 

It’s not something he considers  _ fair _ per se but call him a dreamer. He devotes his life to the ones he finds comfort in, helps others to find peace in his faith and respects those who don't share his views. It’s a changing world; he has no room to be backwards.

 

There's pounding on the door but Taekwoon doesn't move. If he were to, what would he possibly do? He left his water in his room, as well as his salt gun. The only protection he has is the golden cross under his shirt and his holy blood. He feels that if a ghoul were to attack him, his blood would not hurt as much as the thirst. Maybe it’s charity to give them a taste.

 

The sounds cease and Taekwoon finally stands on shaky legs, holding his scripture to his chest. He knows sleep won't come for some time but there's not much else he can do for the coming morning. He can only pray that God is kind to him tonight and lets him rest.

 

God isn't always kind and Taekwoon is the one to suffer from his hand tonight.

  
  
  


***

  
  


“You haven't tried what Wonshik gave to you?”

 

Hakyeon’s voice is soft, airy almost. Like a lullaby that Taekwoon misses from childhood but he supposes that's accurate; Hakyeon rocked him to sleep when they grew up, he was the one that let sleep come. If Taekwoon didn't know any better, he’d have called him his guardian angel, but there's no such thing in this world.

 

“It’s not a problem,” Taekwoon replies as he strikes a match to light the candles for the communion. Nothing gets past Hakyeon, though. It’s as if he can  _ smell _ the lack of sleep on Taekwoon. He didn't sleep last night despite retiring to his room at the insistence of the head priest at an early time. He was still awake one hour into the new day and he returned to the pews to listen to the ghouls as they moaned outside.

 

Hakyeon sighs, replacing candles where they need to be replaced. He makes them all by hand for the cathedral and lays them out with Taekwoon and some of the altar boys in the morning. The sisters like it when he makes strawberry scented ones for them.

 

“It is and you know it is,” Hakyeon says, definite. “It’s a recurring issue, Taekwoon. You cannot ignore it and think it will go away.”

 

“Wonshik’s remedies don't work.” Even as he says it, he makes an awkward noise because they both know he's lying through his teeth. The look Hakyeon sends him is nothing short of disbelief. It was Wonshik’s remedy that saved Hakyeon from the flu two years prior and saved many from the effects of a werewolf bite during the full moon.

 

“It’s as if you don't want to recover,” Hakyeon sighs, again. “Honestly, Taekwoon, do you want the demons to haunt you?”

 

“Don't let the altar boys hear you,” Taekwoon says, shaking the match off once it’s close to burning his finger tips. “You’ll give them more nightmares than you already do.”

 

“They're more afraid of you than I.” Hakyeon sighs like he's being paid to do it and Taekwoon punches him in the arm, quickly and out of sight of the head priest. Hakyeon curses him under his breath, muttering that it is going to be a long day. 

 

Taekwoon agrees, watching the altar boys open the doors and bolt them.

  
  


***

  
  


Taekwoon tries a lot of things to make him sleep but not even Wonshik’s remedies, hypnosis, acupuncture or saging his room lets him rest. He's lucky to get three hours before he's awake and restless again.

 

The session of that day went well and Taekwoon participated despite the head priest urging him to rest. There's nothing he can do to fix his sleep so they let him join but nothing strenuous lest his health take a steep dive.

 

Hakyeon gave him a lavender scented candle and he burns it now, praying that it might make his eyes droop but even when his heart rate calms and he relaxes his body into something akin to rest, it’s not enough. It’s never enough and he almost feels like crying. He just wants to sleep and he’ll not result to drinking to make himself pass out for the sake of sleep. He needs it more than anything but nothing is working, not even prayers. If he was a fool, he’d think he was possessed but it’s impossible. Maybe he's haunted and he just missed the spirit when he salted his shoulders.

 

The candle makes him calm, calmer than he's been in days but there's a chorus of moaning outside until there's simply nothing but silence and that is what makes Taekwoon stand quickly.

 

The ghouls are never quiet. Taekwoon knows them better than anyone in the cathedral, knows them better than  _ anything _ . Those sounds are the ones that bring horror to others whilst bringing consistency to Taekwoon. Those sounds mean nightfall and they mean a waking lullaby for Taekwoon.

 

There's a crack from higher above, on the second storey of the cathedral and Taekwoon turns his head to the sound, cursing himself. He left his gun in his room again because this never happens. No one ever gets in, no ghouls ever reach that high in the cathedral. It’s simply impossible, ghouls don’t have the ability and Taekwoon won’t delude himself into thinking they do but there’s a flash of  _ something _ shaped like a person and Taekwoon considers running to his quarters to grab the gun but that would put all his brothers and sisters in danger and he cannot do that. If he is to fight this ghoul, he’ll do it to protect everyone or he’ll die trying.

 

Taekwoon keeps a watchful eye on the second storey balcony structure and watches as the figure moves curiously. There’s a trap door opening above, one that leads to an attic of sorts but unless the roof of the attic has been opened somehow, Taekwoon is unsure how the ghoul could have gotten inside. But then again, ghouls don’t move like this. They’re slow, their hungry hindering them and since the arrival this creature, the ghouls outside have gone silent, as if dead. Taekwoon doesn’t want to smell the blood in the morning if they are.

 

The figure moves again and it moves too quickly for Taekwoon to really keep it in view but multiple things move, such as the candle flames Taekwoon lit next to the organ. They’re extinguished and Taekwoon backs himself into the altar, hands by his side. His holy water is on him, in his pocket and he has never once taken off the cross around his neck. He’ll be fine for now should the creature come any reason.

 

There’s a thump in the darkness, followed by footsteps and Taekwoon sees eyes as red as his very blood, wide and unblinking but they are not afraid. They are haunting, beautiful in some poetic way but they speak death’s language and Taekwoon is not a friend of death. He is not favoured by anyone and his holy water sings for him when he touches it, as if it knows that he is powerless without it.

 

“I’m not what you're looking for,” Taekwoon says, definite. He’s surprised his voice is stable and the creature blinks, a natural brown colour swimming back into its irises. It looks like a man, with black hair pushed from his forehead but Taekwoon won’t personify it. It will make it harder to kill it in the long run. “You- Demons don't belong here.”  _ Demon _ isn’t quite the word he’s looking for but ghoul isn’t either and this man is certainly not a werewolf so what is  _ he? _

 

“They don't,” the man replies calmly, disappearing again and for a moment, Taekwoon’s vision hazes, his brain making him dizzy. “But I am a different kind of demon. Do you know of me?”

 

Taekwoon can feel his cross burning against his chest, his holy water in reach and steps back, straightening his posture. “A blood sucker,” he says with as much confidence as he can manage, watching the shadows. He should be asleep but if he was asleep, who would kill this thing? He is the only one.

 

“Leave,” he says because he’ll not kill unless he has to. His word does not command it to be so. “You and your kind are not welcome here.”

 

The creature moves and Taekwoon stiffens when he feels the breath on his neck, creeping up and down his chest. The figure separates him from the altar and Taekwoon’s skin raises in gooseflesh. He bites his lip and turns, in hopes to startle the beast but it holds him chest to chest and Taekwoon hates what he sees.

 

The beast is indeed a man, a little young with sly eyes and pretty lips. He's handsome, attractive and cheeky and  _ strong _ . He grips Taekwoon’s wrist and if anyone were to walk in, they might look like they're dancing judging by Taekwoon’s hand on his shoulder. He can’t move but his foolish mind convinces him that he doesn’t want to. So much for being protected when his stupid brain won’t even let him resist.

 

“I wouldn’t think you to be awake at this time,” the man says, genuinely surprised. “The ghouls make a lovely sound when they squeal but none of them did tonight. Was it because of you? Did you quiet them so they’d not wake your… your family?”

 

Taekwoon stares at him, utterly confused. He didn’t do anything, he didn’t even know the ghouls outside were dead. He can’t smell like them like this beast can most likely smell him. He has no power of the sort. He shakes his head because he doesn’t trust his voice and the creature stretches his jaw, almost in a reflex, white fangs glinting in the lowlight of the remaining candles.

 

“What do you want?” Taekwoon spits but he whimpers when the man -- the  _ vampire _ \-- noses his jaw, sighing into his neck. He should struggle, he should punch and kick and scream a fit up but he doesn’t because if not him, then who will kill the creatures that he finds comfort in. The creatures he finds in the dark are his alone and he shivers against the creature, despising his body for the reaction, for the pleasure he finds in the attention and stares at the vampire, brown eyes meeting blood red again.

 

“It’s simple,” he says and his voice is even deeper when it’s spoken to him, close to his ear. “There are things that only people like you can give me. There are things only monsters like me can give you.”

 

Taekwoon clenches his jaw, his cheeks aflame despite his disgust. “What could I possibly want from you?” he hisses, his face scrunching up when the vampire grips his chin and stares at him dead on. He’s not scared, per se. More annoyed than anything and he’d much prefer this man to take his hands off him. He hates that the touch is comforting.

 

“Many things,” he whispers and Taekwoon closes his eyes, avoiding it all, avoiding the  _ reality _ . “Protection, a chance to feel alive. I could do anything you want.”

 

Taekwoon lets out a breath when his face is released and he feels so weak that he almost faints but the vampire holds him closely, shields him. He moves to a pew and sets Taekwoon down gently, pushing his hair from his face. He's checking on him and Taekwoon frowns, staring at him in shock. He truly prays he’s finally so sleep deprived that he’s hallucinating because none of this feels right and he is so horribly confused. He hates that his most pressing question is about how the vampire got into the cathedral but he’s dazed and exhausted. He doesn’t have the energy to wonder, only enough to focus on right now.

 

The vampire looks worried, keeping his hands to himself for once and Taekwoon raises an eyebrow. He’s not being attacked, nothing of the sort. He’s being _cared for_ , the vampire kneeling on the ground next to him and Taekwoon’s mind blanks as he subconsciously lifts his hand and presses it to the vampire’s cheek.

 

He’s cold, as Taekwoon expected but the vampire’s expression drops into a frown, unimpressed and Taekwoon must be crazy because he laughs in his face, shaking his head to clear his head at least a little. “Why me?” he whispers and the vampire sits on his heels, away from the hand and spies the lavender candle next to Taekwoon that he left on the pew.

 

“Because you weren't scared,” he says and Taekwoon opens his mouth to respond, to say that he very much  _ was _ but who else would take on a vampire, but the cathedral’s dorm door opens and the vampire is gone, the only evidence of his presence the cold feeling against Taekwoon’s palm.

 

“Taekwoon?” comes Hakyeon’s voice and Taekwoon blinks, feeling returning to his legs slowly. He thought he might have fainted. “What are you doing awake?”

 

“I could ask you the same question,” Taekwoon replies, smiling to himself easily. Hakyeon steps cautiously over to him and when Taekwoon tries to stand and falls, Hakyeon catches him. He's a lot different than the vampire and it only occurs to him now that he doesn't have a name for the fanged beast.

 

“Are you alright?” Hakyeon asks, worried. “I heard you talking with someone.” 

 

Taekwoon nods, petting Hakyeon’s sleep mussed hair. “Nothing a little sleep can't fix,” he jokes but it falls flat. “It was only the angels, as well. There’s no one here besides the ghouls.” Hakyeon doesn’t laugh or even smile but Taekwoon stands by himself, steady and slow and Hakyeon purses his lips in thought. He can’t say anything that will make Taekwoon go to sleep, he hasn’t been able to since they were kids.

 

“Sleep soon, then,” Hakyeon says slowly, worried still but returns to the dorm quietly, the door staying unlocked. Taekwoon thinks he should lock it but feels the wind change despite being inside. When he turns, the vampire is back and holding him close, cautious as if he will break.

 

“I can't give you blood,” Taekwoon says quickly when the vampire returns to nosing his jaw like a dog. Taekwoon moves his face, hands grasping the arms around him and it feels too affectionate, too comforting despite the danger evident in the situation. This man is a  _ vampire _ , a creature Taekwoon should kill, if his morals are correct but he won’t. Right now, he has no reason to and he feels like a fool. “There's… I can't give you what you want. It might hurt you.”

 

The vampire pauses for a moment. He pulls away, threading his fingers through Taekwoon’s, sweet and reassuring somehow. It’s like seeing an old lover, someone familiar and homey and the brown in the vampire’s eyes reflects the flame of the candles, making them alight with literal fire. Taekwoon stupidly thinks him beautiful.

 

“You're very curious,” the vampire says, almost in awe and smiles, boyish but with two pairs of fangs, long and shining. “Han Sanghyuk is my name. Don't speak of me unless you must.”

 

“Jung Taekwoon,” he says dumbly and Sanghyuk smiles, sweet and beautiful. He looks young but it’s a ploy to trick him. This man is probably as old as the wars Taekwoon reads of, as old as the literature he finds in the archives. Sanghyuk is a piece of history that doesn’t belong but Taekwoon won’t tell him so.

 

“I know,” Sanghyuk whispers, his eyes glinting and then he's gone.

 

Taekwoon drops his shoulders, turning in the pew to see if he’s still around but there’s nothing. The lavender candle burns next to him whilst the smoke from the tall candles tickles his nose and makes his eyes burn.  
  


***

 

Hakyeon’s eyes never leave him. Taekwoon almost believes he smells like vampire but Hakyeon looks away when he catches him, his cheeks aflame.

 

They're in the middle of a ceremony when Hakyeon slips over to him and breathes, “Have you heard from Wonshik recently?”

 

Taekwoon blinks slowly, hiding his surprise. What kind of question is that? “Last I heard, he was helping with the werewolf curse. Why? Do you need to speak to him?”

 

“Not urgently.” Hakyeon’s words are quiet as they watch the head priest preach. “Well, I’ve lied.”

 

“Go to confession,” Taekwoon answers bluntly. Why are they having this conversation? Hakyeon isn't sick and as far as he knows, no one else is. Is he planning for more holy water? Does he smell Sanghyuk on Taekwoon? Even as he thinks that, it’s impossible. Hakyeon isn't a werewolf.

 

“Shut up, you fool,” Hakyeon says, scowling at him. “I meant that I do need to see him. Do you… How would one contain an angel’s grace?”

 

Taekwoon freezes and it seems all of the cathedral does too. But they're not focused on Hakyeon, only Taekwoon is. What the fuck? Excuse the curse but-

 

“Hakyeon, what have you done?” he whispers but Hakyeon shakes his head, eyes pinned forward as the altar boys help hand out various things to the audience, smiling all the while like the two of them were trained all those years ago. “Hakyeon-”

 

“Nothing, it’s simply odd curiosity.” Hakyeon’s answer is final. “I need to see him because I’d like to talk candles and such with him. Especially for your sleeping. The angel grace is a question I’ve had in the back of my head for some time."

 

“You're lying to me.”

 

“And so what if I am?”

 

“You’d be punished.”

 

Hakyeon looks at him and smiles sweetly, fake. “You’d never tell on me. You’ve lied many times and I’ve yet to tell anyone. There’s nothing for me to tell.”

 

Taekwoon looks at him, studying his profile and Hakyeon couldn’t look calmer but he’s hiding something. But so is Taekwoon and when he thinks about it, he can feel his neck burning where Sanghyuk touched him, despite him never biting. Taekwoon looks forward and doesn’t speak for the rest of the ceremony.

 

It’s not until later that night that Hakyeon hugs him suddenly before he retires for the night. It’s tight, comforting and Taekwoon circles his arms around him slowly, keeping him there.

 

“I trust you,” Hakyeon says into Taekwoon’s shoulder. “I want you to be okay. I want you to make it through.”

 

“I’m not dying,” Taekwoon chuckles, threading his fingers through Hakyeon’s hair. He’s the only one that hears the second storey creak from Sanghyuk’s arrival from above. 

 

Hakyeon pulls away, fixing parts of Taekwoon’s hair and nods curtly. “You’re not. I’m just too emotional for God knows what reason.” He laughs, shaking his head when Taekwoon attempts to call blasphemy. “Goodnight, Taekwoon. I’ll see you in the morning.”

 

“Rest well.” Taekwoon glances to the statue, where Sanghyuk has peaked his head out from but Hakyeon doesn’t notice. He smiles wistfully and only when the dorm door clicks shut before Hakyeon and his footsteps disappear down the hall, does Sanghyuk emerge from the statue and sit on the golden altar, relaxed. He pulls one leg up and swings the other whilst gazing at Taekwoon in some smug way.

 

“Good evening,” he says, fangs catching the light as they grow out from his gums.

 

Taekwoon stares at him for a moment before sighing, hiding his smile as he takes the boxes with the scriptures inside them. Sanghyuk is quick and helps him move the boxes despite not being asked, smiling at Taekwoon when his mouth opens in shock.

 

“Monsters aren’t all bad,” Sanghyuk says, his smile just as sweet as his actions and Taekwoon has nowhere to hide his pink cheeks. He takes a breath and finishes his chores in half the time since Sanghyuk is too fast for him to catch up with. When they’re done, they sit and Sanghyuk watches Taekwoon as he prays to himself, silent and observing.

 

“Can you hear them?’ he asks in a whisper, eyes searching.

 

Taekwoon leans back and looks at the vampire, surprised that he doesn’t find malice there. Sanghyuk is not a creature of God; he is from purgatory, the depths between heaven and hell where the monsters made from darkness reside, the ones lesser than demons that have no place in hell. He doesn’t know the angels that Taekwoon prays to because they don’t care for him. But then again, do they care for Taekwoon if he’s still suffering?

 

“Not anymore,” he replies, his eyes on his hands. “I haven’t heard them in a long while.”

 

Sanghyuk doesn’t say anything more but he takes Taekwoon’s hand with both of his, keeping it warm and playing with his fingers, nothing more. Taekwoon watches as he trails fingers up his arm, over the veins that would be so easy to bite into for him but he doesn’t make any movements to do so. Taekwoon’s blood is poisonous, blessed by the angels he does not hear anymore or so he’s been told and Sanghyuk won’t risk it. 

 

Taekwoon doesn’t want him to.

 

“I like that you are awake at this time,” Sanghyuk mumbles after a while. “I am not alone when you are awake.”

 

“Do you have no one else?”

 

He shakes his head, putting his arm along the back of the pew, behind Taekwoon. It feels protective. “I was turned a long time ago. I’ve no family or coven. It’s lonely in some cases.” He scratches his head, smiling at Taekwoon. “But I met a little priest and he-”

 

“Oh, shut up,” Taekwoon hisses, shoving him away but Sanghyuk only laughs, beautiful and unabashedly, lovely and loud. Taekwoon hopes no one is awake to hear him -  not because it would put them in danger but because he wants to be the only one to hear Sanghyuk’s laugh.

 

Sanghyuk stops laughing and leans closer to him, only for Taekwoon to lean away, a terrible game of cat and mouse between them. “You’re weird, if anything. But I do like you.”

 

“I should be flattered,” Taekwoon retorts, mock offended. He ignores his heart fluttering.

 

“You should be.” Sanghyuk’s fangs don’t scare him, even if they surprise him. His smiles are pretty. “You should sleep. It’s getting late.”

 

Taekwoon doesn’t shy away when Sanghyuk pulls him back up, pulls him to stand. He’s tired but he knows he won’t sleep, not for a long time. He’s lonely and it’s horribly evident even with Sanghyuk. Nothing will let him sleep and he’s sick of trying, really.

 

Sanghyuk holds his hand and nothing more, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles and massaging when Taekwoon relaxes his hand in his grasp. He steps closer and Taekwoon, despite everything, hugs him because Hakyeon wasn’t enough, he needs to touch and the comfort that comes with it even if Sanghyuk defies nature itself and fights his beliefs head on. He’s human to Taekwoon, if anything, and there’s nothing anyone can do to change his mind when he’s this deprived.

 

“Sleep,” Sanghyuk says into his hair, smiling when Taekwoon yawns into his shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow night, I promise.”

 

“Don’t break it,” Taekwoon whispers, letting go when Sanghyuk does and he hears a cocky laugh, the vampire gone from his grasp and out of the building in seconds. Taekwoon draws his arms close to himself and sighs, suddenly cold.

 

It doesn’t hurt to try but he’s almost sick of trying. He hopes he can sleep but he knows he won’t be able to. A positive mind is a growing mind, though, and Taekwoon rolls his eyes at his own thoughts as he drags himself to bed.

  
  


***

  
  


“Honestly, why do you keep coming back?”

 

Sanghyuk scratches his nose in response, watching Taekwoon from the third pew with his hands clasped together, like a good little school boy listening in class. Taekwoon is still in his clerical slacks, a simple white undershirt on but he’s a good boy; he tucked it in. Sanghyuk dresses simply, in slacks and slip on shoes. His jackets are nice, big and made to fit his shoulders but he’s handsome all around, something Taekwoon finds annoying because it makes him excited.

 

Right now, he simply smiles at Taekwoon, as if the question is amusing. He gasps mockingly, raising his hand high in the air. “Oh, pick me! I know the answer!”

 

Taekwoon raises his eyebrows, crossing his arms and Sanghyuk grins, his double fangs glinting as they always do when he smiles. 

 

“Because you hate it,” he answers, smug and Taekwoon rolls his eyes. He’s wrong but Taekwoon won’t say it. It feels wrong to find joy in Sanghyuk’s presence but Taekwoon’s always been awful at his job. He curses freely and is yet to be married. He doesn’t turn down a drink and in his younger years, Wonshik and he would raid the wine cellar. Wonshik took the fall for that, only because he wanted to leave the cathedral and have no excuse to come back but no one really holds it against him. He had always been suited elsewhere.

 

“Unless,” Sanghyuk says as he stands, running his fingers along the sides of the pews as he moves. Taekwoon turns around to the altar, grabbing the duster the head priest gave him before they all went to bed. It’s common knowledge between all of them that he barely sleeps now. It’s ironic, because ever since Sanghyuk showed up, Taekwoon went from sleeping for three hours a night to five. He doesn’t dwell on it, only takes advantage of it.

 

“You do like it when I’m here,” Sanghyuk finishes, behind Taekwoon now. A lot closer than before and Taekwoon turns slight when Sanghyuk’s hand touches his on the dusters. “Is this what you do? When you cannot sleep?”

 

Taekwoon nods once, his eyes on what he's dusting and pointedly ignoring Sanghyuk’s eyes on him. He can feel the glow of them somehow and he glances at Sanghyuk, grunting in general response when his suspicions are confirmed.

 

“Does no one else do this? It’s a cathedral, more than a simple church. There should be more than one person, no?” Sanghyuk steps back to give him space and when Taekwoon glances at him, the vampire is sitting in the first pew, relaxing and watching him with curious eyes.

 

“They do,” Taekwoon answers, lowering his cloth. He swallows his pride and descends the stairs of the altar, sitting next to Sanghyuk. He’s grateful that he's still wearing his altar uniform and cross underneath despite the fact that he knows Sanghyuk would never touch him unless he was comfortable. “It’s mindless work. Tires me before I go to sleep.”

 

“It’s not yet three,” Sanghyuk says quietly, eyes fixed on the statues of Virgin Mary that frame the main altar. Taekwoon is constantly reminded that Sanghyuk knows a lot about him, has learnt a lot about him over the past months. “You don't sleep much before then. I could help you.”

 

“Would having my blood stolen make me exhausted?” Taekwoon retorts, leaning away when Sanghyuk casually leans closer to him. “Don't think of it. You know what my blood could do to you.”

 

“I’ve yet to decide if you're bluffing.” Sanghyuk smiles then, taking Taekwoon’s hand instead of anything else, instead of forcing him closer. “But feeding is not what I meant. When you slept in the dorms growing up, did you sleep with someone close? Or even, in your arms?”

 

Taekwoon stares at him for a moment, nodding mutely. He grew up in the orphanage portion of the cathedral. He’s been here since he was a newborn, Hakyeon growing up beside him when he turned eight. Sanghyuk nods in return, simply acknowledging and plays with Taekwoon’s fingers. “That is what I meant. Perhaps you need it back. That is all I am offering.”

 

“In exchange for what?” Taekwoon’s question comes out in a whisper, as if speaking too loud would disturb everything inside, everything between them. He and Sanghyuk have been meeting like this for many weeks now, when Sanghyuk is the most alert and all of Taekwoon’s community is asleep just a few doors away. They’ve never been caught and Taekwoon has spilled many truths to Sanghyuk, ones especially about his health and how he grew up, how the ghouls calm him down. Sanghyuk has told me many things in return, too, like what the ghouls do outside when Taekwoon is locked inside but it’s nothing more than aimless roaming. He has no coven and he was turned many, many years ago, alone and looking for something for it all to make sense.

 

Sanghyuk shakes his head at Taekwoon’s question, his golden eyes calm and glittering a little. Taekwoon really must be going mad because he looks almost innocent despite being otherworldly but he is, isn't he? He's not from this realm, but he's not the angels Taekwoon prays to. So why does he not feel unholy? He feels special, soothing.

 

“Companionship, possibly?” Sanghyuk’s voice is quiet, unsure. “You are the first to not be afraid of me. It’s lonely and I feel strange. I don't want to disappoint you, somehow.”

 

_ He's young _ , Taekwoon thinks as he threads his fingers through Sanghyuk’s in an unfamiliar act of boldness. He's not scared, he's far from it. In fact, he's fascinated; he wants to know more about him. Even more than he already knows because Sanghyuk is from a realm he does not know, one he will never know and it pulls him in like a gravitational pool, like a string being coiled around a finger.

 

“You won't disappoint me,” Taekwoon says, definite. “I feel it. If… If you help me, I will help you as well.”

 

Sanghyuk grins at him, his double set of fangs glinting in the harsh light of the church and Taekwoon smiles back at him, his cheeks flushing a healthy shade of pink. Sanghyuk doesn't comment but he stands and kisses Taekwoon’s forehead before he can do anything, dancing off towards the dorms despite Taekwoon not leading him. 

 

“You fool,” Taekwoon hisses as he grabs Sanghyuk’s hand, ignoring the vampire’s smug grin. “Anyone could see you. Are you stupid?”

 

“I sincerely doubt it.” He diligently follows Taekwoon through the darkness, his muscle memory guiding him whilst Sanghyuk’s eyesight helps the vampire.

 

It’s awkward once they're in his quarters but Sanghyuk wraps his arms around Taekwoon like he’s done many times before and pulls him to the bed, spooning him comfortably and it’s a shock to the system until Sanghyuk heats up. His body temperature rises comfortably and Taekwoon relaxes even though Sanghyuk’s mouth is near his neck, closer than its ever been. 

 

But he's still not scared.

 

“It’s only me,” Sanghyuk whispers, only for him.

 

Taekwoon takes a sharp breath, Sanghyuk’s arms around him tightly. “You are a monster.”

 

“And yet, you're in bed with one.”

 

Taekwoon makes a noise of disagreement despite the situation being literally that. Sanghyuk is curious and though he might be hundreds of years older than Taekwoon, he's still young. He looks twenty-three at best, compared to being twenty-eight like Taekwoon.

 

“You're strange.” It’s all Taekwoon can say and yet, it’s so peculiar how comfortable he feels, how wonderful it is to have someone hold him, to keep him warm and keep him safe at night. Sanghyuk is made from the night; he knows it better than anyone and yet, he is the comfort Taekwoon so desperately needs to make him finally sleep.

 

“The nightmares are worse than anything,” Taekwoon whispers and Sanghyuk’s hold on him tightens instinctively. “There's many attacks. From the creatures… When it’s dark, they come. That's why I watch, because I can't sleep.”

 

“Because you're the only one that is not afraid to fight them,” Sanghyuk corrects, pressing a kiss to Taekwoon’s cheek quickly. They’re yet to talk about the kisses, as well. “You're not afraid and that is a weapon in itself.”

 

Taekwoon closes his eyes, happy with the contact, happy with the protection and when he rolls over, meeting Sanghyuk’s eyes, he swears he might feel the closest thing he’s ever felt to love. He’s a fool and he's horribly aware of it but he's human and being human is to be selfish so he takes what Sanghyuk gives him. He takes the warmth, the comfort, the cage and the key and keeps it safe in his heart where Sanghyuk can't take it back.

 

“Did your parents never tell you not to play with your food?” he teases but Sanghyuk shakes his head, calm.

 

“I don't.” The answer is simple.

 

“Then what are you doing with me?”

 

“You're different.”

 

Taekwoon blinks at the red eyes staring at him, slowly. He's not phased; he does not believe it. “I am your poison but I am human.”

 

“All humans are my poison,” Sanghyuk smiles. “Humans want what kills them, don't they? To feel the rush of it for a moment? They want the danger until it hurts them.”

 

“Is that why you want me?” Taekwoon’s question is hushed, only for them. 

 

Sanghyuk blinks slowly, smiling in a soft way like a lover would. He rests his forehead against Taekwoon’s and takes a breath, like the air is thick enough to choke him. “You're interesting. And you're not afraid of me. I’m afraid of you, I think, but I admire you as well. You're smart for a human.”

 

“You're an ass for a vampire,” Taekwoon hisses back, turning before Sanghyuk can say anything but he's pulled strongly against Sanghyuk’s chest, no escape.

 

“If you're going to do that,” Taekwoon says when Sanghyuk rests his head against Taekwoon’s shoulder blades, “don't suffocate.”

 

“I don't breathe,” Sanghyuk answers, smug. “You've nothing to worry about.”

 

“There are other things about you to worry about,” Taekwoon whispers before he falls asleep. It’s too comfortable; he hasn't had this in a long time.

 

“Then don't worry yourself whilst I’m still here,” Sanghyuk replies before Taekwoon finally lets himself fall asleep in the secure arms of a vampire he does not fear.

  
  


***

 

Sanghyuk isn’t next to him when he wakes.

 

Taekwoon grabs his pocket watch from the bedside table and starts to cry when he sees the time.

 

One in the afternoon.

 

Taekwoon slept for eleven hours.

 

When Sanghyuk returns to him that night, in the same place as last night, Taekwoon hugs him tightly. He is the remedy that Taekwoon needed, the physical presence he’s carved for so long and Sanghyuk laughs as Taekwoon clutches him close to him, telling him of it all.

 

“I told you I could help you,” Sanghyuk says, pulling back and smiling and Taekwoon finds his fangs beautiful. They could rip him to shreds but he’s never done anything of the sort. Even with eight of them, shining and sharp, he’s never come to Taekwoon covered in blood or smelling like it. He knows Taekwoon would hate it but he feels so human, even if his soul is missing. Taekwoon feels his soul, feels it intertwined with his own and he cups Sanghyuk’s cheeks to tell him so.

 

Sanghyuk blinks at the mention of his soul but his smile is pleased, reassuring despite the sets of fangs and Taekwoon strokes his cheekbones, leaning their foreheads together.

 

“You were right,” Taekwoon whispers, comfortable in Sanghyuk’s arms. “I needed someone. Someone I trusted, I think.”

 

“Even if I’m a monster?”

 

“You're not the monster that people fear. I’m not afraid of you.” He plays with Sanghyuk’s hair at the back of his head. It’s getting long. “I was never afraid of you.”

 

“If not you then who would kill me?” Sanghyuk smirks, drawing back to take Taekwoon’s hand in his and return to his quarters. It’s only midnight, three hours earlier than when Taekwoon would normally retire but he's greedy and Sanghyuk is giving him the chance to have something he’s missed for years and he wants it desperately. He wants Sanghyuk, more than anything.

 

“I’m not ashamed,” Taekwoon says when he closes his door. Sanghyuk watches him as he lights a few candles, the same lavender one from the night they met. It’s lasted this long. “I’m not ashamed of… Of being with you. Even if it is behind the backs of those I trust.”

 

“Some things are meant to not be understood,” Sanghyuk whispers, just for them the two of them and Taekwoon lets himself be pulled into Sanghyuk’s embrace, lets himself be kissed softly, sweetly, senseless. 

 

Sanghyuk gave him sleep but he doesn't mind losing it if it means that Sanghyuk will keep kissing him. He noses Taekwoon’s neck like he did the first night they spoke but Taekwoon doesn't shy away. He lets Sanghyuk mark him without his fangs, not hard enough to break his skin and soaks in the feeling of the forming bruise, in the feeling of having something on his skin that belongs to his monster.

 

Sanghyuk never feeds from him, even though neither of them are entirely sure that Taekwoon’s blood is actually poisonous to him. They don't dare to try and at the moment, there's no need for it. Not when they have each other to themselves, not when Taekwoon clutches onto Sanghyuk’s shoulders like he'll disappear if he doesn't touch him. He feels love, whispered and bitten into his skin and he smiles where Sanghyuk can't see him, smiles when Sanghyuk kisses him to stop his mumbling.

 

“It’s you and I,” Sanghyuk says, stopping his motions to stare at Taekwoon, to search his eyes and bring him back down to earth. “Only us. It’s only me that you feel for, isn't it?”

 

“Of course,” Taekwoon answers, soft. “Why would there be anyone else when I have a vampire to myself?”

 

“Your angels don't agree,” Sanghyuk reminds him, smirking.

 

“They stopped caring about me a long time ago. I knew it. But you came to me like they used to so maybe you are my new angel.”

 

“Guardian angels don't exist, I thought you said?” Sanghyuk kisses him once, twice, because he can't avoid it. Taekwoon knows he looks starstruck.

 

“I think they do for those that believe.” Taekwoon smiles while Sanghyuk groans at the romantic side of it, rolling his eyes and kissing him again to get him to stop talking. Taekwoon isn't a poet but there's many things he could say that would make Sanghyuk flush out of pure embarrassment. It’s cringy but Taekwoon likes to make him squirm.

 

Sanghyuk kisses him, holds him until Taekwoon’s eyes droop and his breathing slows to a steady pace. He lies down with Taekwoon, picking hair out of his face and lets Taekwoon lay on him, his head on his chest. He spikes his body temperature and Taekwoon hums, kissing him once more before he sleeps again, easy and relaxed. With Sanghyuk’s arms around him, he wouldn't mind never waking up.

 

But he wakes, Sanghyuk is still next to him, even in the daylight. Before Taekwoon can carry on like a screaming child, Sanghyuk points to the door and the window, both of which have been locked and the curtains are drawn tightly, held together by a few of Taekwoon’s old hair ties.

 

“It would be hard to sneak you out,” Taekwoon says, eyes on the window but Sanghyuk laughs, pulling him back to the bed and kisses him sweetly.

 

“Then I’ll have to stay a while, won't I?” he whispers against Taekwoon’s lips, pulling away just to press his thumb to it.

 

“Please,” Taekwoon returns, blinking up at Sanghyuk, the vampire who gave him more than anything and he grins, rolling them over. They tangle their legs together and Sanghyuk hums when Taekwoon presses a kiss to his jaw, laughs when Taekwoon nips at the skin of his neck like a newborn vampire, unsure but so horribly endearing.

 

“You're wonderful,” Taekwoon tells him to which Sanghyuk smiles, those double set of fangs painting his dreams rather than his nightmares and Taekwoon is finally able to rest whilst his heart is beating, beating for a creature of the dark, a creature his soul sings for.

**Author's Note:**

> feedback is always appreicated <3


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